Follow on from the LRO show

Does Richie know about Athens too......................???

No, but I think he may have sussed Bastogne ....

How did you get to read my PMs

nickburt wrote:

No, but I think he may have sussed Bastogne ....

How did you get to read my PMs

Now THAT would be telling........

Just a few for the more 'senior' members of the kind,caring etc team of organisers/marshalls they may be able to relate to them-(not looking at anybody in particular,Keith Richie)

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure..'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it..'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.


'Where's my toast ?'



An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly..'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'




Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'






A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?'

'Yep!'

'Do I know her?'

'Nope!'

'This woman, is she good looking?'

'Not really.'

'Is she a good cook?'

'Naw, she can't cook too well.'

'Does she have lots of money?'

'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'

'Well, then, is she good in bed?'

'I don't know.'

'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'

'Because she can still drive!'






A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbour . 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty...'




Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'




One more. . .!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'



Admin: 50 bonus points added for your consistency in forum work.

One for Keith.

An English family head out one day to do some shopping.
While in the sports shop the son picks up a Welsh Rugby shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be a Wales Supporter and I would like this for my birthday". His sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother". So off goes the little lad with the Red Rugby shirt in hand and finds his mother.
"Mum?" "Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Wales supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday". The mother is equally outraged by this and also whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father". Off he goes with the Red Rugby shirt in hand and finds his father.
"Dad?" "Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Wales supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday". The father is also outraged and whacks his son around the head and says: "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
About half an hour later they're all back in the car heading home.
The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes dad I have, I've only been a Welsh for an hour and already I hate you English b*%tards"


Admin: extra 10 points awarded for considering our Welsh partners in this organisation.

Good to see that bribery and corruption is still rife among the organisers

Possibly another one for Keith


In 1872 the Welsh invented the condom using a sheep's bladder.
However, in 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the sheep first.

oooo i think you might be heading for minus points there

But good joke

Re Car 5, Team Tonic; The organisers are reviewing their acceptance of this entry. The results of the review will be announced soon

I agree Keith - his acceptance should be withdrawn but not until the eleventh hour when he's collected a load more money!

We were thinking of withdrawing the Team Tonic entry at 1129hrs Sat 15th June 2013 But have yet to confirm the decision

evo4x4 wrote:

We were thinking of withdrawing the Team Tonic entry at 1129hrs Sat 15th June 2013 But have yet to confirm the decision

That's reasonable

That's reasonable

But of course, what else would you expect from your caring, friendly, understanding, helpful, pleasant and reasonable organisers

You know you'll miss me !

evo4x4 wrote:

That's reasonable

But of course, what else would you expect from your caring, friendly, understanding, helpful, pleasant and reasonable organisers

Absolutely nothing less

The Chav Prayer
Our father, who are in prison
Mother knows not his name.
Thy Chavdom come, thy shoplifting done, in JJB sports as it is in Poundland.
Give us this day our welfare bread
And forgive us our ASBO's as we happy slap those
Who give evidence against us
And lead us not into employment
But deliver us free housing.
For thine is the chavdom
The Burberry and the Blackberry
Forever and ever

Innit

I'm seriously worried about the sanity of Richie, and those poor marshall's and kind considerate Organiser's that have to suffer his humour all day. Now I understand why the goal posts keep moving, they are trying to escape

The Polite way to Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:'
Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite’.
...What a
bout you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
The teacher fainted.

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
Satan: 'Why so glum?'
Guy: 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'
Satan: 'Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?'
...Guy: 'Sure, I love to drink.'
...Satan: 'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway.'
Guy: 'Gee that sounds great!'
Satan: 'You a smoker?'
Guy: 'You better believe it'
Satan: 'All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get ill, no biggie, you're already dead, remember?'
Guy: 'Wow...that's awesome!'
Satan: 'I bet you like to gamble.'
Guy: 'Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.'
Satan: 'Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow.'
Guy: 'Cool!'
Satan: 'What about drugs?'
Guy: 'Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?'
Satan: 'That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares.'
Guy: 'Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!'
Satan: 'You gay?'
Guy: 'No...'
Satan: 'Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough...'

I'm seriously worried about the sanity of Richie, and those poor marshall's and kind considerate Organiser's that have to suffer his humour all day. Now I understand why the goal posts keep moving, they are trying to escape

The truth will always out. It is clear that whilst on the 2012 rally you had little time to analyse the details and reasoning of the 'moving goal-posts'

No doubt your recent Morocco expedition allowed time for you to reflect on your European adventure with us. Whilst in Morocco it sounds as if you had a 'eureka' moment; which suddenly provided the insight as to why we had to continually move those goalposts in June 2012. I think you are the first to make the revelation - you are now aware that we really are helpful, friendly, caring, compassionate, understanding and welcoming organisers

Never doubted for a moment Keith

landie68rover wrote:

Never doubted for a moment Keith

Creep!

Magpie wrote:

landie68rover wrote:

Never doubted for a moment Keith

Creep!

but of course Jan, best way of making the world go around

You're a good man Richard and I'm glad that you've seen the light

Creep Jan - In defence of Richard, I think he'd been on the old vino - again!